4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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