when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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