sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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