So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
sarcasm needs its own font
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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