i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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