two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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