apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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