yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My bed smells like the plague
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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