Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
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We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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