You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
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You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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