sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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