I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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