u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
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I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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