I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
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