We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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