I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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