So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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