My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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