I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize