Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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