oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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