She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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