never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
ttyl tear gas
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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