Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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