My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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