I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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