I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
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You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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