Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize