there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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