i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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