I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
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