the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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