So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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