his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
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