I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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