I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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