I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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