she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
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Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
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I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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