he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
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I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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