sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Non-Jews are for practice
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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