like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize