I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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