Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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