Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize