Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
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I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
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So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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