i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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