My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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