He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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