So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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