Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize