life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize