I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize